How To Handle Negativity

We bring our own energy to others and others affect ours. We can’t completely control the energy of others and what they give us however, we are able to have a handle on our own. But what happens when you fall into a bout of constant negativity?

Negativity can be hard to deal with. One thought or emotion can multiply and last a bit longer than we’d like.  Before you know it, your day has come to an end and you seem to be caught in a web of unfavorable feelings. Here’s a reminder so these thoughts do not weigh on you so heavily: negativity is natural and should be embraced. One key to handling it is to embrace your circumstances and emotions, locate the root and stem of your feelings and ultimately move forward and allow these emotions to leave you. Realize your negative emotions. You don’t have to cover them up or push them away and you should never ignore them. 

Locate your emotions

Where did this negative feeling originate? Was it a fleeting thought you had that you now can’t seem to let go of? Was it an off-handed comment by a co-worker, family member, or close friend? Locating where the negative feeling stems from can help you identify the trigger that gives rise to many of your negative thoughts. If we are able to locate the root of the problem, we can break it off before it grows stronger and becomes overwhelming.

Work through the feeling

So you have a bad feeling but, luckily, you now also have an idea why and where it came from.  We’ve all heard the phrase “Fake it till you make it” and while this can work in certain circumstances, it doesn’t always apply to handling negative situations or emotions. Sometimes things are just difficult. Your initial (not singular) response to adverse thoughts and emotions should be to honor them.

Be honest with yourself. If you are sad, simply be sad. Cry if you need to. Be angry. No cover-ups or sugar coating. In this moment, allow yourself the opportunity of truly being upset. Let it all out. All the insecurities, all the worries, all the what-if scenarios. Keeping a journal where you express your negative feelings without judgment is one good way of working through your feelings.

Move Forward

This part can take a lot of work, but is truly worth your effort. You have honored your emotions, but there is still a problem that needs a solution. You’ve taken the time to acknowledge your thoughts and express them fully. Now it’s time to let them fade away. Is it easier for you to dismiss positivity simply because you can’t believe it to be true?  Flip this way of thinking and apply that mentality to these negative thoughts. 

“I will never be successful.” Let’s locate the emotion behind this statement and process all the reasons why it came to be in the first place. “I don’t make enough money,” “My friends tell me my dreams are far-fetched,” “I bombed my presentation at work because I am a failure.”  Locate the emotion, honor your feelings then, let the thought pass away and, even better, replace them with better thoughts. “I work very hard to support myself so that my hopes and dreams may manifest into reality.”  “My friends aren’t able to see my vision, but I can. Their opinions of me are not the be all end all.”  “I didn’t do well on my presentation, but I’ve learned from my mistakes and will come back better than before.”

This can take practice so don’t be too hard on yourself if you still feel surrounded by negative talk and emotions. It is also a journey in itself to undo negative self-talk and thinking. Practice and a conscious effort will yield fantastic results. Remember: To honor these negative emotions does not mean to live in them.  Give these feelings your attention and then, allow them to dissolve.  Make a deliberate choice to always dwell on the positive and you will see how quickly your surroundings change to suit you.