I cannot remember what age I was when I first heard the words, “You’re carrying baggage. Don’t bring your baggage with you!” And I thought to myself, no you’re carrying a purse. To be honest I really did not understand what that meant for decades. The truth is I kept trying to figure out what ‘luggage’ had to do with life.
Yet our baggage in reality is merely the simple triggers that set us off course. The sad thing is it also leads us to denial and sometimes decades of it. The reality is because this is one of the things they don’t teach us in school.
Then one day we wake up and wonder what is wrong with us? We did everything we were taught to do growing up, yet our lives are going nowhere, our jobs seem dead-ended, we fail to recognize opportunities and somewhere along the line we’ve lost our ‘happy’.
So we begin to search for solutions We spend large sums of money on the latest trends, but they do not seem to stick and eventually we drop them like ‘hot potatoes’ and keep searching for that one thing that will change our lives. We spend our time comparing ourselves to others and often wonder, “Why can’t it be me?”
Four years ago I went through a heartbreak that simple shattered my life and I went into therapy. Shortly after my therapy period was about to end, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in both breasts. I cried when they told me, put myself on automatic, then proceeded with more therapy. As a woman in her 50’s I was introduced to ‘mindfulness’ and trust me, I did not get it at all.
Yet it was all the rage, the current go to, the new fix-it! I forgot to add I also suffered from anxiety and major depression but then who wouldn’t. And these things became my baggage. I carried it around like the hundreds of people you see at the airport that have so much they need a porter.
Mindfulness became equated with being in the ‘present moment’. But how could I do that when so many things kept going wrong? I was given examples like:
- Focus on this pen. Use your senses to describe it. What is its’ purpose?
- Or evaluate your drink. How does it taste? How does it feel going down?
But still, I could not comprehend how in the world this was supposed to help me and make my life better.
Then opportunity came knocking and I was offered the chance to become a Master Mindfulness Practitioner and I took it. Let me tell you, the work was grueling. It was long and required focus and attention to detail. I got frustrated and wanted to quit. Then one day, in a flash, I got it!What it boiled down to was this. Forget the past. Forget the future. At this exact moment in time, nothing was wrong! I was safe! I was calm! Nothing mattered except me!
I must have returned to the ‘present moment’ 50 times that day, though my world was still crumbling around me. Except it could not reach me while I held that space. I became stronger and now I held the secret of how to help others. Like me, you can have this peace too!
So I ask you, an be honest, because the more honest you are with your self the better your life can be. When you are 80, do you want to look back and have regrets or would you rather have lived? Do you want to wonder what would have happened, or know the answer whether you like it or not?
Then picture the baggage claim at the airport. A bag drops down the carousel chute and goes round and round waiting to be claimed. Some bags are big and some are small. Some are locked and some have bee broken open. Yet others are showing the wear and tear of many years of abuse and hardship as they are scratched bruised and broken just like us.
The following exercise/questions are provided to lead you into an honest discussion with yourself and to help you identify the factors that contribute to your carrying that baggage around.
- Do I spend my time focusing on the past or dreading the future? Surprisingly, the past is known to cause us to be in a depressed state and the future can cause us anxiety. So spend a little bit of time examining which direction causes you the most dissatisfaction.
- Do I struggle making decisions because my emotions get in my way? Take some time to examine whether you have become a more indecisive person or compulsive person? Then carve out a period of time in your day for meditation, to journal and practice self reflection.
- Am I open to new ideas, or do I let my feelings and judgments dictate my decisions? If so, take time each day before retiring to release the past, even the events of today and make a promise to yourself to be open to new ideas.
Sometimes we find ourselves in periods where we keep trying to talk ourselves out of something. This is generally when our statement of agreement is followed by the word ‘but’. I was taught at an early age, that use of the word ‘but’ usually erases everything you said or claimed before it. We are often caught in a spider web if you will of sticky situations and excuses. In using mindfulness practices, we can lead ourselves to a more peaceful life and begin to enjoy the synchronicity that will begin to come into our lives more rapidly.
The twins worry and doubt often get in our way. So do you find yourself constantly worrying or second guessing yourself? I wish I could remember the Source this came from, but it was something I discovered decades ago. If you come to that fork in the road where you don’t know what to do, get a quarter and flip it. Call it heads for one decision and tails for the other. If you remember as kids we would often play the decisive game called “One, Two, Three, Shoot.” So often one of the parties would then call 2 out of 3 or increase it to 3 out of 5. Yet it all boils down to this simple factor, “If you want to flip that quarter again, you already know your decision.” Try it and you’ll find this is a most valuable piece of wisdom.
So what is stopping you from enjoying this moment right now? Are you taking responsibility for the events in your life or are you projecting them on other people? Make a vow to show up authentically for yourself, and remember there is no law that says you have to claim your baggage at this airport called life. You can choose to leave it all behind and start over fresh as you go forward through the airport, free to travel to anywhere on your Bucket List.
The sky’s the limit!
Victoria Yarmie hails from North Carolina. She is a certified Master Mindfulness Practitioner. You may contact her at: Linkedin
